Unnamed Blog.

So I haven't blogged in a month in a half! And that month and a half has been nuts! Tuesday September 6 I was in orientation for a new RN job and out of the blue felt like I was going to pass out and had just a feeling of over all sickness. Pretty scary. I was hoping if I just tried to man up and make it through the week I would re-cooperate during the weekend and on Monday feel back to being healthy. Boy was I wrong. It has been exactly a month from then and I am still not back to 100%. I have had a ton of Dr appointments, 2 CT Scans, an Ultra Sound, Colonscopy, tons of blood tests and multiple prescription for possible diagnosis. I finally got referred to a EarNose&Throat Specialist and also a Gastroenterologist. It has been a whirlwind!

The ENT found 2 bilateral tumors of some sort on my Parotid Glands but isn't sure exactly what they are so instead of a repeat CT I am having a MRI on this coming Tuesday. I am surprisingly not nervous just ready to get it all figured out. 

Today I had my procedure at the Gastroenterologist and he ruled out Colitis, Crohns, IBS, etc. But he did confirm that I did in fact have Gilbert's Syndrome. Not a really big deal. Happy to have that answered. He also seemed to think that the 3 weeks of terrible nausea, loss of appetite, etc was probably due to a terrible virus possibly from something I ate. So needless to say my days of eating raw fish is OVER! I will still eat sushi (because I love it) but may just stick to the boring but delicious California Roll for now haha! 

This past month has been an emotional roller coaster. Being so sick and 700 miles from your family and friends is not easy. Brandon has been wonderful and I know it has been hard on him since he has a huge obligation and couldn't be here as much as he wanted to. I have learned a lot about myself and also my relationships this month, got a lot of things put into perspective. Its funny how you grow up and things that used to be important to you just aren't anymore... and you realize that they just aren't worth the effort and not nearly as important as other things in your adult life. This month has been full of prayer and questions more so than usual. Even though I have been sick I have full and total faith in the Ultimate Physician! I know that my life is in his hands and he will never steer me wrong.

In other news. I hadn't been to the gym in like 23 days (I have lost muscle and strength but have also lost weight due to the loss of appetite and nausea for 3 weeks), then I made it for 3 days last week and haven't been back this week with all the procedure prep I had to do and then the procedure. But I plan on getting back into the swing of things tomorrow! I have a great 12 week plan lined up and am so excited to get started on it! It seems very challenging but I am excited to push myself to the next level, I did it before and can do it again. I wanna gain the muscle strength back plus some!!! The 12 weeks will be finished up just in time for the Holidays and for when I will finally be back in OHIO! Which I am counting down for! Cannot wait to spend Christmas with my family!!!!

Phew! Thanks for the support..now let me support you!!

So I received a surprising amount of texts, emails and Face Book messages about yesterdays "Big Ole Rant" blog. They all were positive (that is were the phew comes in) and it made me smile knowing that my words caused some people to start thinking about how they are currently living and what they actually want for themselves. Then that gave me the idea that maybe I will start blogging more about health and wellness and the struggles, emotions and thoughts I have dealing with that topic. If you are interested in becoming a healthier and happier version of yourself then join this blogging site... follow me..and lets do it together! Just like my first tip on the last blog- Have a support system, trust me it makes all the difference. I do not claim to know it all or what will work best for YOU I just know the hurdles I over came and my experiences and hope to help others become a success.

 I had said many of times that I was going to get in shape, just like many of us have. Then it was always followed by a statement like "starting next week, starting next month, at the beginning of the year that will be my New Years Resolution".. well that never really worked out too well. Sure there were a couple of times that I stuck with it a few weeks and then would start to "cheat" (I hate that term and will get into that some other time) but it never turned into an actual Lifestyle Change- it never stuck. It was the day before my college graduation (May 2009) and I was feeling GREAT! Was about to graduate with a Bachelors in Science in Health Studies and Promotion and was feeling on top of the world. My then Fiance Brandon (now husband) had came up to Oxford to spend Graduation Weekend with me and he had brought along a bag with a ton of crap in it. Protein powder, grounded up oatmeal, and some other things in plastic bags and it was then he told me about his plans. The next day (the actual day of my Graduation May 10, 2009) he was changing his life around, going to start to be healthier because he was tired of feeling sick and tired and being uncomfortable with the way he looked, he just wasn't happy with himself. I of course took his big news with a grain of salt and thought "yeah whatever". He then tried to encourage me to start being healthier and I distinctly remember telling him that I was healthy and I thought I looked fine and if he wanted to diet that was his deal not mine. Welp, that embarrassing picture I revealed yesterday was in fact taken AT MY GRADUATION PARTY and at my Heaviest weight. EEK! And I actually thought I looked cute that day. Brandon kept his promise to himself and became healthier starting on May 10, 2009 and has been doing great ever since! That was his story now here is my very embarrassing story of how I got my start.

Like I said before I became a RN I had received a BS in Health Studies and Promotion from Miami University. I had heard Professors constantly stating that "we were health professionals once we graduated, and should act like one- practice what you are going to preach" those words usually went in one ear and out the other. I never considered myself that out of shape. I was perfectly capable of going and running a mile or 2 if I felt inclined to and thought because I could do that twice a month that I was in average, perfectly normal shape. So I was in DENIAL! The drive to change my life occurred in the most unusual spot. Cazadores. Those of you who are from Ohio or know me well that name rings a bell. It is a Mexican restaurant that my Step-Father is a co-owner at and I was a waitress there after I graduated and through Nursing school. So with being a waitress at a restaurant there is usually a nice discount on the food during your work day.. that being FREE. Very bad for someone who had no will power and loved yummy cheesy friend Mexican cuisine. There is almost always a cliche scene in tv shows and movies that involve the fat kid and food.. usually someone trips them, etc. WELL.. one night after I had gotten off early I decided I was going to just eat dinner there. I had ordered a chimichanga fried with ground beef inside and lots of queso on top. I was walking with my plate in my hand to a little side corner in the back when I tripped over my own feet, landing flat on my face with pieces of the broken plate and food everywhere. I was embarrassed naturally.... but had felt something I had never felt before. I felt like the "fat kid" in the cliche movie scene. I hurried to clean up the mess and immediately left. I was really disappointed in myself and realized I shouldn't of been eating that anyways. I was over weight, unhappy, and using food as a comfort. The anger set in and I finally reached the mentality that this was RIDICULOUS I am the ONLY one who can provoke and maintain the change I supposedly desired so bad so I was going to do it! The very next day I started my crazy journey to a better me. Almost 16 months ago!

I am excited to blog more stories and such and hope that you will follow me and that I can be an encouragement and a support system to whoever is in need . Today I leave you with AWESOME pictures of my biggest support and motivation. My husband Brandon!!!! He got such awesome results through HARD WORK & DETERMINATION.. NO fad diet or p90x. Just good ole work!

A BIG OLE RANT on some irritating issues.

CAUTION: DO NOT READ if you LOVE your Unhealthy Lifestyle and don't care to hear my (a health professional's and former individual who LOVED their Unhealthy Lifestyle) 2 cents. There is my fair warning :)

Okay so day to day I see and hear things that make me sick to my stomach. Just the way we as a population live our life is kind of sad. We think it is okay to be a little "chubby" when medically speaking the majority of people that consider their self chubby or a tad over weight are actually obese! No one likes to hear that or be labeled as such but ... its the TRUTH. And it is your right to do and act as you please I am not in the least bit trying to criticize people for that but what bothers me is watching people cram disgusting amounts of awful food down their throat, drink their selves into a coma, and smoke countless packs and packs of  cigarettes and then act honest to God surprised when they are told that they have cancer, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, COPD, the list goes on and on.

So addiction. That is one word that is used a lot. People are addicted to food, cigarettes, alcohol and anything else that you can think of. Fine. Addiction is very real and I am not undermining that but I just don't get peoples mine set and reasoning. Why doesn't the fact that these poor choices are basically inviting a whole slue of nasty diseases and health problems to ravish their bodies have a big enough impact to turn your life around? And my ultimate BIGGEST pet peeve... "Exercise and Eating Healthy just doesn't work for me". Really? That is interesting. I am the last person to believe that bull. I exercised and eat healthy and guess what... some how lost close to 40 lbs. Either you aren't really putting the effort in that you are convincing yourself that you are or those two things with the result of my weight loss was just a really weird coincidence.

Throwing that amount of weight I loss out there is embarrassing for me.. not going to lie about that. I never viewed myself as being that unhealthy that by changing my lifestyle would have dropped that much weight. It was a STRUGGLE. Those first probably 2 months I was not a nice person to be around, I loathed going to the gym and used almost every excuse imaginable not to go, and had cravings for the old junk I indulged in all the time. Without Brandon I have no doubt that I wouldn't have made it to where I am now. He was patient but firm with me and was there to ALWAYS remind me that this is what I wanted for my life and not to give in because at the end of the day I would feel awful about giving up. Here are a few things that helped me.

1. Have a support system. Let those around you know that you are trying to improve your lifestyle and make healthier choices that way they won't throw the temptation out there and will be in the loop about why you are cranky :)

2. Be completely honest with yourself and look at yourself for who you are! Its okay to admit that you are not 100% happy with who you are because those reasons will help you to work hard to become who you WANT TO BE!

3. Take one day at a time. Don't worry if you are going to eat healthy next week. The answer is yes. You make that decision everyday and before you know it.. its not really a struggle to make the "right" decision .. its more like an automatic action.

4. Take lots of pictures. You can keep them personal and to yourself but by documenting your changes from week to week or month to month it will really boost your morale and keep you motivated!

5. Be ready to make the change... ready to give it 100%! Changing to healthier was so far one of the hardest things to do (in the beginning). If you are not ready to give it your all your chances of failing could be higher. But failing is OKAY! Try try try again!

6. One thing that is important to state is by saying you are changing your lifestyle you are not vowing nor do you have to feel like you are saying you are going to NEVER eat fast food again, or candy, pizza, donuts, etc. What you ARE saying IS it is okay to have something like that EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. But practicing moderation and not completely binging on these things.

Like I said before this was a rant about my personal opinions. If I ticked you off, well, there is probably a reason it hit ya in a soft spot and I will leave it at that. I am not criticizing anyone. And I am most certainly not telling you that if you don't eat healthy and exercise that you are WRONG. That is NOT what I am about. If you are happy with yourself than so be it, I wish you the best. This journey (which is still on going) was never centered around looks, being "skinny", or a certain clothing size. It was about HEALTH! I have seen countless patients who were in the bad shape they were in due to their unhealthy behavior and IT SCARED ME, scared me into wanting better for myself. I will end this blog with a very embarrassing "before" picture and a less embarrassing "after". Enjoy!

Before. :(

Neglect: The state or fact of being uncared for

So I have done just that... NEGLECTED my blog! It helped me get through the awful and ugly referred to as Boot Camp and then I moved on and kinda forgot about it haha!! BUT, I seen it today the bookmark saved on the top of my FireFox webpage and had an ah hah moment! I originally started this blog with the intentions of being able to update friends and family without having to remember and repeat the same stories of day to day life living in the far away land referred to as Charleston, South Carolina :) So here it is:

UPDATE: We have been living in our humble abode now since June 17, 2011.. exactly 2 months today! So far I love it here, the weather is great the area is beautiful and full of so much history! Dudley seems to enjoy the outside too! We never have a dull moment and there are plenty of things to do and see. We have had 2 sets of visitors thus far (The Yates'- Kathy & Butch and Grandma Sally) and (My Best Friend- Amanda Mahoney) and are looking forward to even more visitors! We have some very special guest getting in this Sunday and staying until the next Sunday and then September 3 our very dear friends The Singer's will be here! So much to look forward to! 

JOB UPDATE: I Have not found a RN position yet. Well, I did but after looking at the schedule that was prepared for me I decided I would look else where versus having a drive of 2 hours to the clinic and then a long 2 hours home from the clinic. I have sent in my application to be an Officially Licensed Registered Nurse in the state of South Carolina so I just won't be in Ohio. What is interesting is South Carolina is apart of the Nurse License Compact (NLC) along with 23 other states so if we happen to get stationed in Virgina it won't be such a hassle to obtain a Virgina license. The bad news is the possible other future duty stations ie. California or Washington are not under the NLC. I have started this past week to really find a RN position and am getting frustrated that I haven't found one yet but I keep trying to remind myself that God is just waiting to bring me to the one he wants me to have. I have stated many times that I NEVER had the desire to be a RN and never even considered it until I gave my life to the Lord and felt as though it was HIS WILL for me to be a Nurse. So as I sit here as a very bored house wife with a very clean house I at least have that comfort hahah!

BRANDON UPDATE: Brandon is excelling in his classes here at the Navy Nuclear Power Training Command (NNPTC) and his GPA is an A! I am so proud! He works very long hours and is sometimes gone from 5 am - 9 pm. But he is very humble about the situation, this is something WE chose as a married couple and even when times get stressful for him and we go days without spending time with one another he can rest assure that I am in this with him, he wasn't the only one who signed up for this I am right on board too! He is currently in what they call 'A School' then after his A School graduation he will advance to Power School and then Prototype! It is a long 2 year process but I feel like this is where we are meant to be and life is good!

As you can imagine we miss and love our families and friends back home so much! We think about you and pray for you everyday and cannot wait until we come home to visit! Which ideally should be in December around Christmas. After being here in this heat for 6 months we are gonna be freezing in Ohio in December.. brrrr!!!

TOMORRRRROW

Tomorrow around 7 I will be setting at the airport waiting for MY SAILOR!! He gets to come home and take leave for a few days & then this time when he leaves he will be taking me and Dudley doo (our baby dog) with him to our new home & life in South Carolina! So exciting and sad. On a very happy note... I PASSED BOARDS I am OFFICIALLY a RN. PHEW!! That cuts my stress factor down about 35% hahah! Now I am concentrating on a getting a job :) 

If any one would of told me my freshman year of college 7 years ago "when it is all said and done you will graduate with your bachelors only to go back for another undergrad degree and become a nurse and you will also transfer colleges your sophomore year, go to a party and run into Brandon Yates that you graduated with from high school ((out of all of the students at the University and 3 hours from home))... fall in love with him.. marry him.. and then become a Navy Wife after he graduates from college and decides to join the Navy" I would of probably died over laughing!! I guess God is truly mysterious and things happen when and where they should! SO glad I decided to open my heart up to him and decided to follow HIS will for my life! Everything happens for a reason after all I suppose!

You may not end up where you thought you'd be, but you always end up where your meant to be.

Questions of science Science and progress Do not speak as loud as my heart .

So today I got an expected phone call from my Husband.. hum hum excuse me... My Sailor! He called and said he had passed Battle Stations 21 and was finished with boot camp! I was a very proud wifey and very happy that we got to chit chat for a hour! And even more happy knowing that in one week I will get to see him, hug him, kiss him :) I just love him!!! These 2 months were brutal but survivable! No doubt that if it wasn't for my very supportive family and friends and it wouldn't have been as easy to swallow. 

Speaking of family and friends I am going to be missing a lot of people but notably my Mom, Sister, Grandparents, and my baby nephew Cameron. My Mom has been my rock my supporter, motivator, basically my all since forever! I am so thankful to have such a caring, giving Mother who has always done whatever it took to give me and my Sister everything! I hope I can be half as great as she was one day!

My sister Heather has been my partner in crime, my best friend, my confidant for 23 years! I am going to miss her like crazy even the bickering over stupid stuff haha. But she is also my Momma's daughter and know that she is strong and will be okay! She has grown into a wonderful woman and I am very proud!

As for my Grandparents.. they are AMAZING! They have also always been there for me with a supportive spirit! They always have my best interest in mind and have never steered me wrong! Great role models!!

And Cam- well like I said he is and will always be my little Baby Nephew :) Just a little nugget! That kid stole my heart!!

But on the bright side, I  put my life and marriage in God's hands and know that this (the Navy) is the right decision for us and it is all going to be OKAY! At least Charleston, SC is a nice place for them to visit haha!

Me and Mom 1987

I'm here without you baby, but your still with me in my dreams & tonight its only YOU and ME.

Cannot believe I haven't blogged in 3 whole weeks!! Time has been flying by (Thank you Jesus) but not quickly enough :) I guess I haven't done much in those past 3 weeks except for... study, workout, watch some of the boob tube.. eat.. lots and lots of sushi nom nom noooommmm. Oh! I graduated (my second undergrad from Miami University I need a life ahha) and I went to Kentucky for my cousin's wedding and visited my Denham Grandparents.

In 13 days I will  be busy checking and double checking and triple checking making sure I have everything to go to Chicago that next morning.... So I can finally see MY MAN!!!! I have been making up scenarios in my head for weeks now about when I get to see his face for the first time in 60 days! It has truly been a crazy experience having no contact except old fashion snail mail with your Husband. Not necessarily a good experience and yet not a bad experience either. I sure have missed him like crazy but have learned a lot of things about myself and our relationship. One thing is for sure I will NEVER take our time together for granted! He is so special to me and I actually love him more and more everyday. I remember walking down the aisle on our wedding day looking at him and thinking "I love him so much" and I never thought it was possible to love this person even more than I did that day but I do- I actually love him more today than I did Sept. 19, 2010.. and think a week from now I will love him more than I do today! Gag I know haha! 

Besides the fact that he is an amazing person who I already had tons of respect and admiration for, his actions in joining the military has made those increase! I have seen plenty of bumper stickers and heard plenty of comments from people who not only don't agree with the War but have no support for our service members and while I didn't like it before and it kind of aggravated me I didn't take it personal. Well last week I took it completely personal haha! I was madder than a hornet! I thought how dare you.. I have you know my husband is one of those men who are giving up their own freedoms to protect yours..And you don't even deserve it! BUT I guess that is something I am going to have to get used to. All that matters is I am so PROUD of him & he makes me smile just thinking about him and what he is doing!

The Picture is Me & Pretend Brandon @ My Cousin Andy's Wedding.

Saturday May 14, 2011.

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend. Lucky to have been where I have been

So today was great! I finally got a call from Brandon and we spoke for 22 minutes, I missed his voice so badly. He sounded like himself but different- major oxymoron I know haha. I had a million things to say/ask/etc but it was like I was so happy that I couldn't remember anything I was shocked I guess. But all in all he sounded wonderful with nothing but positive things to say. I just love him SO MUCH!

Besides all of that exciting business, I also went to WPAFB and took care of my ID Card, DEERS stuff etc. My Uncle is retired from the AF so he was very familiar with Wright-Patt and showed me around. I had fun it is like its own little world behind gates :)  I am excited to move onto base in South Carolina and get familiar with not only the base but also the new way of life!!!!!

There’s only one thing.. To Do.. Three words.. For you.. I love you

So we are officially at W3D1 (week 3, day 1) of Bran being gone and I miss him so bad! Today I got some more letters from him and they of course made me beyond happy! I love being able to read his feelings and what is going on in his life currently. He got picked to be the Yeoman and I am so proud of him and all of his achievements, he is my hero :) It so weird that in 6 days he will have been gone for a whole month! And that means we are half way through with only one more month to go. I have a lot of things going on with my graduation, a wedding, Kaplan Nclex review week, studying for the Nclex, etc... so hopefully.. JUST MAYBE these last 4 weeks and 6 days will ZOOOOOOOOM by!

Your warm whispers... Out of the dark they carry my heart

So today marks one week down. I woke up, got ready ran some errands had an awesome quad&calf day at the gym and even treated myself to some Chipotle ((bowl with chicken, rice, black beans, and lots of lettuce only)). When I got home I noticed a fairly large box on the porch I ran up to it and seen it was addressed to me in Bran's handwriting. I grabbed it up and brought it in and was anxious to open it and then for some reason as I was opening it and seen his clothes it made me cry... I wasn't feeling sad or upset I just had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to cry. I think it was the buildup of the stress of school, Brandon being away, the UNKNOWN of what is going on with him and what he is doing. I am a control freak just a slight bit and that has been the hardest thing about him leaving is not being in control of our life .. every aspect of it hahah. At least I can admit these things :) I wish my stink'n informative package would come from the Navy already.. I have written him 3 letters and have no way of sending them since that packet has his address and such. Grr. Well hopefully it will be here SOON!! That will be an exciting day!!

“I'm standing on the moon, with nothing left to do, with a lonely view of heaven, but I'd rather be with you”

Brandon has been gone for 3 days now.. I feel sad and happy at the same time. Happy he is getting started on this Navy Journey but sad only for my own selfish reasons. I know that other military wives have it worse (husbands deployed over sea's in an unsafe environment for many many months, often a year) but that still doesn't take away my emptiness. So odd to have your best friend with you everyday and then poof gone, no phone calls, no textx no nothing.. I cannot wait to receive that package in the mail so I can have the address and send some letters!! Today I actually sent him a text out of habit when I left the gym. During the day I do not feel sad, lonely, etc.. its just at night.. But I am so proud and happy for him, I wonder what he is doing and how he is feeling and thinking going through whatever it is he is going through.  On a more upbeat note... I registered for NCLEX-RN examination stuff tonight.. Time has flown by in regards to school.. 2 more weeks and then I have graduation in 3 weeks!!! Yay :)

This blog sounds pretty much like I am having a pity party for myself. I promise I am not.. I think I am just poor at this whole "blogging" thing. Haha.

God, grant me the serenity.

So tomorrow at 11 am I drop off Brandon and will not see him for about 8-10 weeks with letters through the mail being our major form of communication. This will not be easy and I know that I have two choices... freak out and have a minor panic attack ((haha)) or embrace it and be strong. Here is a little something that gets me through some tough times...

Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to YOUR will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next. Amen.

Getting Close..

After today I will just have tomorrow left with Brandon before dropping him off at the Navy Office before his stay in Columbus and flight to Chicago. Bummer. It truly is going to be a bitter sweet moment though, I will be happy to get this part over with and moving on with our life but sad because I will have to be without him for a while although I am looking forward to use my cute stationary set to send letters to him!!

These past two weeks have flown by!! We have been busy trying to spend time with friends and family as much as possible. It was really hard to see Brandon saying good bye to some great friends last night BUT they have already planned to visit us in Charleston so I think that helped. Brandon and I are so blessed to have such a great group of supportive, understanding, and fun friends. Thanks Guys!!!

I am going to miss waking up to Brandon everyday but am SO PROUD of him and everything he is doing!!!!

Blogging?

So Brandon leaves for 2 months in just 3 days and I have only 2 weeks left of lectures before finals week and then I will be finished with RN school. You think after 7 years and 2 undergrad degrees this would all be easy.. nope, the butterflies still come when finals week is approaching. So much is going to change in these next few weeks, graduation, nclex, not seeing Brandon for months, and moving to South Carolina and I thought maybe blogging my thoughts, anxieties, and such would help to keep my sane haha. Oh and will help to keep my family and friends up to speed with whats going on once we finally move.