Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Your warm whispers... Out of the dark they carry my heart

So today marks one week down. I woke up, got ready ran some errands had an awesome quad&calf day at the gym and even treated myself to some Chipotle ((bowl with chicken, rice, black beans, and lots of lettuce only)). When I got home I noticed a fairly large box on the porch I ran up to it and seen it was addressed to me in Bran's handwriting. I grabbed it up and brought it in and was anxious to open it and then for some reason as I was opening it and seen his clothes it made me cry... I wasn't feeling sad or upset I just had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to cry. I think it was the buildup of the stress of school, Brandon being away, the UNKNOWN of what is going on with him and what he is doing. I am a control freak just a slight bit and that has been the hardest thing about him leaving is not being in control of our life .. every aspect of it hahah. At least I can admit these things :) I wish my stink'n informative package would come from the Navy already.. I have written him 3 letters and have no way of sending them since that packet has his address and such. Grr. Well hopefully it will be here SOON!! That will be an exciting day!!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

“I'm standing on the moon, with nothing left to do, with a lonely view of heaven, but I'd rather be with you”

Brandon has been gone for 3 days now.. I feel sad and happy at the same time. Happy he is getting started on this Navy Journey but sad only for my own selfish reasons. I know that other military wives have it worse (husbands deployed over sea's in an unsafe environment for many many months, often a year) but that still doesn't take away my emptiness. So odd to have your best friend with you everyday and then poof gone, no phone calls, no textx no nothing.. I cannot wait to receive that package in the mail so I can have the address and send some letters!! Today I actually sent him a text out of habit when I left the gym. During the day I do not feel sad, lonely, etc.. its just at night.. But I am so proud and happy for him, I wonder what he is doing and how he is feeling and thinking going through whatever it is he is going through.  On a more upbeat note... I registered for NCLEX-RN examination stuff tonight.. Time has flown by in regards to school.. 2 more weeks and then I have graduation in 3 weeks!!! Yay :)

This blog sounds pretty much like I am having a pity party for myself. I promise I am not.. I think I am just poor at this whole "blogging" thing. Haha.

Monday, April 11, 2011

God, grant me the serenity.

So tomorrow at 11 am I drop off Brandon and will not see him for about 8-10 weeks with letters through the mail being our major form of communication. This will not be easy and I know that I have two choices... freak out and have a minor panic attack ((haha)) or embrace it and be strong. Here is a little something that gets me through some tough times...

Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to YOUR will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next. Amen.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Getting Close..

After today I will just have tomorrow left with Brandon before dropping him off at the Navy Office before his stay in Columbus and flight to Chicago. Bummer. It truly is going to be a bitter sweet moment though, I will be happy to get this part over with and moving on with our life but sad because I will have to be without him for a while although I am looking forward to use my cute stationary set to send letters to him!!

These past two weeks have flown by!! We have been busy trying to spend time with friends and family as much as possible. It was really hard to see Brandon saying good bye to some great friends last night BUT they have already planned to visit us in Charleston so I think that helped. Brandon and I are so blessed to have such a great group of supportive, understanding, and fun friends. Thanks Guys!!!

I am going to miss waking up to Brandon everyday but am SO PROUD of him and everything he is doing!!!!

Friday, April 8, 2011


So Brandon leaves for 2 months in just 3 days and I have only 2 weeks left of lectures before finals week and then I will be finished with RN school. You think after 7 years and 2 undergrad degrees this would all be easy.. nope, the butterflies still come when finals week is approaching. So much is going to change in these next few weeks, graduation, nclex, not seeing Brandon for months, and moving to South Carolina and I thought maybe blogging my thoughts, anxieties, and such would help to keep my sane haha. Oh and will help to keep my family and friends up to speed with whats going on once we finally move.